Poems: Lost & Found

I found a whole bunch of my old poetry at Poetry.com. Here is some of my work from when I was in high school and early twenties.  Some of it I'm proud of, and some of it is crap.  Either way, I'm amused.

Shadow of a Doubt
She is not my enemy,
Yet I hate her just the same.
She is no embarrassment,
Yet she still fills me with such shame.
She is not confusing,
Yet I never understand.
She is my reflection,
Yet is she who I am?


She is not my friend,
Yet I love her just the same.
She is not an actress,
Yet she entertains.
She is not an open book,
Yet I still can read.
She is my companion,
Yet is she really me?




And at you, I wish a rock
I have no patience for such games as those you'd have me play.
Yet, in my place and in my aims I cannot from you go astray.
I feel by now I should have won at least a game or two.
But though you say that it shall be, I fear I am a fool.
Upon your pedestal, there you sit and care not for those below.
Perhaps at fault, I am for this, but you set my face aglow.
Perchance in all your spoiled glee you will learn to love.
Until that day, I will always be asking of more from above.




Misplaced Plant
It hurts me.
It hurts you.
Actually, it hurts me every time it hurts you.
And you can't see it.
You can't see it hurting either you or me.
That's why it is hurting us.
And you can't see it.
There is no way to explain the pain; you’re blind.
I'm sorry, but ignorance isn't bliss; it's pain.
And it's eating me up inside.
It hurt me once, so I stopped it.
I'm not blind to it.
But you are, and you won't stop.
So now what?
Please try to see it.
See the pain and fight it.
Help me, help you, help us.
Please, it hurts.




Paranoia
I have no friends;
Only enemies.
Looking in the mirror;
I see everything but me.


I call this home,
Here in my room.
In the darkness,
I think of doom.


The walls can hear,
They're closing in.
If they could talk,
They'd speak of sin.


Voices in the night,
They conspire against me.
I can see the light,
They think I'm crazy.


They're coming to get me,
I scream and yell.
Everyone's against me,
For I'm in hell.


Why I try,
I do not know.
Now paranoia,
Has killed my soul.




Physical Strings
As the Earth keeps the Moon on a string,
You always keep me about.
You say it is only a fling,
Yet I can't seem to get myself out.


As the Earth keeps the Moon on a string,
You keep me attached to a leash
Made up of romance and dancing
And hopes for a marriage by priest.


As the Earth keeps the Moon on a string,
And slowly adds more satellites.
You stay out late, do not come home,
And say you are just working nights.


And I as the Moon on a string
Should see true and cut myself free,
Fly into the night as a new human being,
And find he who truly loves me.



Let Me In
I want to open up,
But I don't know how.
You seem so distant,
Though you're beside me.
This isn't real,
There's something missing.
I think it's you.
Ever since the day you asked,
It's been different.
Now it's complicated,
You and me.
Did you hear that?
It takes two.
Together me and you.




Just Ask
If you're ever in doubt,
Just ask.
If you ever need my help,
Just ask.
If you ever need a friend,
I'll be there.
Just ask.
\If you're ever lonely,
Just ask.
If you ever want me,
Just ask.
If you ever love me,
I'll be there.
You needn't ask.



Rain
Drops of translucent liquid,
Raining down from the heavens.
No longer there, I'm up above.
Feel my love pour down on thee.


Dripping silver beads portray my love.
One day you shall be here with me,
Mortality can't keep us apart.


Do not fear,
I'm here for you.


Taste my sweetness on you lips;
Feel the rain, it's my fingertips.


Let the rain surround you;
Feel my arms about you.


With the rain comes my love,
Pouring down from above.


Pouring down from above.




Conmigo
I've always wanted to tell someone that I love them,
And mean it deeply in my heart.
I've always wanted to hold someone,
Tight within my arms.
And now I have found what I've been wanting,
And that what I've wanted is you.


I've always needed to be loved,
And told so sincerely.
I've always needed to be held,
With emotions felt deeply.
And now I have found what I've needed,
And that what I've needed is you.


I want you to know that I've been waiting,
To be touched so tenderly in my soul.


I want you to know that I've been searching,
For the person that loves me so.


I have stopped wanting and now am finished searching.
I'm through with needing and waiting as well.


But I can't help loving.


I can't stop loving you.




Love is like wearing glasses
They seem to make everything clear, then it rains and the drops blur your vision.
A heated moment fogs the lenses, as well as the memory.
Nothing is scratch-proof; without care they will break.
They can be replaced, but at great cost and are easily lost.
Yes, love is a lot like wearing glasses.




Autumn Photographs
So many hours spent wasting away
Beside a picture whose expression does not change.


Bittersweet nothings of I miss you or love
Are never returned through voice or by touch.


Feelings of frustration, sadness, heartache and pain
Seep into my heart as cold as your frame.


Eyes once filled with promise and care
Now stare back at me frigid and bare.


Dreams of warm summer days by your side
Now replaced by cold winters and nights.


What is it that goes on in that mind of yours
As you sit there and stare without care of much more?


Phone calls and letter are efforts in vain,
Until I may touch my hand upon your face.


Autumn awaits with much excitement and joy.
For then we will be girlfriend and boy.


Then I will be sure to capture a time
On film where your hand is held closely in mine,


And then our two smiles will shine back with glee.
For then I will know that you are thinking of me.




His Window
When he looks outside his window,
His eyes are filled awe.
The colors and sounds amaze him,
With the beautiful effects of Fall.


He can see a garden,
It's filled with roses high.
Their petals kissed by dewdrops,
Like the tears from when he cries.


The street is filled with movement,
It's the time when people come and go.
There are even children playing,
They have no cares or woes.


He sits there at his window,
And smiles at what he sees.
Yet he can't help but wonder,
"Why can't they see me?"




Is it over yet?
We wake up and all I hear is, "Morning."
As if anything else could be said.


I think that there could be.
Perhaps that there should be.
Yet again, perhaps I should stay in bed.


I meet him for dinner and what I get is, "Hello."
We sit down and get started,
But the waiter is more of a show.


This boredom is eating away at me.
So, why can't I do something about it?


Thinking it over I tell him.
I know that this could hurt a lot.


Telling him it's over was easy.
Hearing, "That's fine," was not.

Nothing to Lose
I’ve lived more lives in this past month, than I would care to count.
I’ve been around the block and back, but I still need a map.
I don’t know where I’m going, but I know where I have been.
I hope to heaven I’ll find a way out, but instead I keep falling back in.

I’m treading water where others have drowned, and I’m straying towards the deep.
I feel as though I might never be found, but that remains a twisted relief.
I don’t know if I seem foolish, yet I know I can be so at times.
I still can’t help wondering if it’s all a sick joke, or if it’s all just in my mind.

I can’t see that proverbial light, at the end of my tunnel of woe.
I just can’t seem to make things turn out right, and I think it is starting to show.
I see that my armor is failing, and in a battle like this I might lose.
I should be fighting and climbing back out, but the wish has evaded my muse.

I hope that I’m still here tomorrow; tomorrow I’ve nothing to lose.

Tropical Depression
Sick, stressed, PMS,
Hungry, tired, sad,
Under-paid, over-weight,
And apparently depressed

June gloom, overdue,
Rears its ugly head.
Summer heat, can’t seem to sleep,
I should stay in bed.

Past mistakes, new heartaches,
Missing being held.
When it’s right, can’t see the light,
Think I’m wrong instead.

Yet, tomorrow comes,
And a new song is sung.
A brighter day has dawned.

Bad moods may go,
And return again,
But I keep pushing on.

Faces

Give me a rainbow and I’ll ask why.

You’ll explain it is beautiful, and you’ll ask

me to look at the colors.

Again, I’ll ask you, how the colors are

different.

You’ll pause to think and then say the color

of each section is different from the others.

At this you’ll be confused and you’ll look

to me for reason.

I’ll expla.in to you this:

My child, a rainbow is one thing made up of many.

Separately each color is pretty, but together they are

beautiful.

I’ll say that the world is a rainbow.

Our faces are the colors, and together the people

become one.

Then we’ll smile, because we’ll know that the human

race is a rainbow;

A beautiful spectrum of faces